August 02, 2013

mystery

i don't know who gave me the rose. but a full-bloom variegated rose greeted me as i opened my mailbox, returning from a challenging business trip. having flown all day, driven 2 hours in friday rush hour traffic, it was a bright surprise that instantly brushed a smile across my tired face.

i popped it into a small vase and enjoyed this unexpected aromatic delight all week until the last petals fell off, below. i made phone calls to family, friends, neighbors. was it you? i would ask one by one, calling individuals i suspected may have been so thoughtful. no one fessed up. no, they'd say, wish it was me or you must have a secret admirer.

the past 2 weeks have been arduous. experiences and outcomes i eagerly anticipated turned into disappointments. that's life, isn't it? just when we think we're firmly footed on solid ground, we find we're actually swimming in unknown waters. disillusions, fears and unrequited desires can toss our little ships. 

i'm learning to float. feel peace. let the waters flow thru and around me. realize that i do not have to drown in these turmoils, that life has plenty of illusions. that i am resilient. buoyant. that every hour of every day, i have a reason to look forward to next

i'm learning to trust that. even when i don't know what next will be. 

like the lyrics from my favorite song by adam randall, let the mystery stand...

so i’m learning to swim
in spite of the dry land
i’m learning that what i know
has nothing to do with who i am
i’m learning to let my world
go to pieces and then be made again
i’m learning to drift away
and let the mystery stand