October 04, 2012

laughter

i was born with a huge space for laughter in my soul. in fact, through time, what i've found is that people remember me for my laugh.

one day, here in santa rosa, as i was walking away from parking my car, the maintenance man for the complex approached me and asked, did you ever work at dell in austin. surprised, this being nearly 6 years after i had left dell, i said, yes, why? he responded, i would recognize your laughter anywhere. he then explained he had been a maintenance man at dell in austin and remembered my laugh as he walked through the hallway by my office.

laughter is nothing short of magic. anger vanishes with a touch of laughter. frustration transforms into relaxation. laughter connects us with each other. with the instincts of a sneeze, walls are torn down and  intensity evaporates when we are receptive to the humor in life. my dad often started his classes reading a few jokes to his students. laughter enables us to be real, to learn, to be honest with ourselves. he knew that.

my family can giggle mercilessly over cards or scrabble on a saturday night. no pun is out of bounds. no humor too silly. i've bowled unsuspecting cans down the aisle of a grocery store toward my partner late at night while grocery clerks watched with bemused smiles. i've pushed a friend hunched in a shopping cart thru the aisles of target making parents cringe and children howl in delight.

maybe that's it. a kid always gets the joke.

October 03, 2012

autumn

autumn is my favorite season. even my first published book of poetry was titled "reflections of autumn". i relate so much to autumn that at the age of 20, i wrote in a self-portrait:

my heart is autumn
changing season--ever changing colors
unpredictable
my passion comes cold as breeze in frost
as bright as the harvest moon
misty, moody mornings
the desire of unquenchable driving rain
caught between the bronzed, ravished beauty of summer
and the cold, white purity of winter
years beyond the fragile, newborn innocence of spring
i know the sadness of the maple
stripped of her burnished glory
there is beauty in my dying--this my living
i was born to die to be born again
as the tree lives on in the seeds the wind planted
i will live autumn for eternity

i am fascinated with how very human autumn is. how a sea of green leaves transform into fiery hues of yellow, red, coral, brown and maroon. how remarkably brash they sparkle in a brilliant blaze to capture our attention before lying windswept on the ground. then with the touch of an elegant whisper, the pure shape of the tree emerges longing to be noted for the beauty within.