May 02, 2012

enough about me

I've been talking with lots of new individuals while searching for my next career adventure. As phone calls come in, I don't always recognize the phone number. So when the phone rang in the middle of the afternoon, I didn't know who was calling.

Fresh Air Studio, this is Judy, I answered.
Hello, Judy, a deep voice said.
Good afternoon, I responded.
This is Patrick, he announced.

Patrick? My mind raced. I didn't remember a Patrick. Surmising I was overlooking someone I bubbled back, Well hi! How did you find me? Was it Linkedin, Twitter or maybe The Ladders?

This is Patrick, he replied slowly emphasizing each word, We used to date.
Oh THAT Patrick, I giggled nervously in reply.
He responded, May I ask you a question? Why did you break up with me?

Now I'm surpressing the urge to laugh. We dated OVER a year and a half ago. Telling him that I didn't want to go out any more after 4 dates hardly qualified as "breaking up". I try to gracefully bow out of the conversation. He tells me that's okay, he'd rather have this conversation over a drink in person. 

In the pantheon of "potent lines" to employ when you're trying to hook back up with someone you want to date again, Why did you break up with me? is NOT in the top 100. Asking me to have a drink with him to explain why I broke up with him is NOT a compelling value proposition!

What Patrick conveyed was he was ALL about himself. Whether we are marketers persuading prospects to buy our solutions, candidates persuading an organization to hire us, or a man persuading a woman to go out, it's not about YOU, it's about THEM. It's not what we've DONE, it's what we can DO for them that will capture their imagination and aspirations.