May 31, 2011

its just water

We need and yet dread rain. When a friend of mine didn't want to jog in the rain, we giggled together when I replied, It's just water.  We won't exercise in rain, yet when finished, we'll shower off the sweat in water.  

Rain quenches thirst. Rain gives life. Rain lets us appreciate the sunshine. 

This month, I wasted too many tears on an abnormal mammogram and a botched biopsy that left a temporary lemon-sized lump in one breast (not the one-sided boob job I wanted). I never felt more alone than when I drove home from the hospital holding the steering wheel in one hand and an ice pack on my breast with the other. I felt scared and sorry for myself. I wasted precious hours mulling anxious thoughts on career & income. Then a girlfriend reminded me to put on my big-girl panties!

Like you, I am not truly alone. But we all feel that way. There are just these moments when we want to connect with others to share our joy or grasp a friend's hand or lean on a shoulder for the pain. 

And sometimes, we believe others have a life that is somehow more better, fulfilling and content than ours. They don't. What makes us human is that we ALL have lives of joy and pain, sadness and excitement, gain and loss. Like the ebb and flow of tide, there's high points and low points. But each life is full and runs deep into the ocean and eagerly along the shore.

In the past few weeks, I've regained momentum grabbing life by the gonads and living in the moment. One morning, that meant walking in my garden taking pictures like this one. I've explored and traveled experiencing joy, giggles and life with friends I've not seen in a long time. 

Openly sharing my pain enabled my friends to tell me how they struggle, too. Then the sweetest raindrops fell. Treasured emails and phone calls of joy and encouragement. A friend I haven't heard from in a long time, called me to tell me I mattered in their life. Another emailed to say they thought I looked beautiful in my latest Facebook photos. Another called with the funniest thing they just experienced. Oh how these things quenched my thirst!

So, I'm writing again. My Facebook page can stay light and airy. But here, I want to blog, share prose and photos of what I experience to help us all keep sight of how connected we are. It's not just water. These raindrops are life.


Karen Wright Gilbert said...

If had NOT worried about the abnormal mammo and the biopsy, then you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din. I'd have been a basket case. It would seem to me quite "normal" to worry about something like that. Thankfully, it turned out to be nothing really bad.

The dichotomy of life is that without sorrow, how would we know joy? So much of what we dislike about life is symbiotic. If it wasn't for bad, then there would be no good.

FreshAir Judy said...

I'm normal?!! Woohoo!!!! I'm also here to report that EVEN with the significant water-weight loss, I did NOT lose weight. Yep, you are SO right -- without sorrow, we do not know what joy is. Without tears, a laugh would never feel so ahhsum!

brad said...

Nice ginkgo picture :-)